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Looking for girlfriend > Casual dating > I have a boyfriend and no friends

I have a boyfriend and no friends

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Home Self Help Relationships 32 yrs old and I have no friends or boyfriend. I don't really know why I'm posting this because I don't think anyone can help me. I don't think therapy can help either, because I think my problem is there is something about me that makes no one want to be friends with me or date me, and I have no idea what it is. I don't understand what is so wrong with me that makes it impossible for me to have a relationship with a person. This is my story of rejection.


SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Loneliness - I Have No Friends

32 yrs old and I have no friends or boyfriend

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Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. So i'm the type of person who is quite shy when meeting new people and i find this make people loose interest in me quickly.

I don't have any friends from childhood because coming from an airforce family i was at a different school every two years. I also seem to think differently from most people, so im not interested in most social fads twitter, instagram etc, , i have a completely different sense of humour from most people and i hate public events and crowds. I'm part of a trivia team and a dragon boat team, i walk around sydney most weekends with a walking group but all i ever seem to make are acquaintences.

I try my best to make friendships but i often find myself with no one to hang out with or feeling alone in a crowd.

I'm not the kind of person people invite to an event or the kind of person people contact on a rainy sunday to hang out with. No one seems to care if i'm ok. I feel completely invisible and i don't know what im doing wrong. As a result i feel painfully lonely most of the time and i spend a lot of evening crying and feeling nothing but self pity and self loathing. Welcome to the forums! I'm only new here myself too, but there's so many amazing people here that I wish I'd checked it out sooner.

Your happiness is really important so I'm glad you reached out. First of all, you're not doing anything wrong. It sounds very demoralising that you haven't found anyone yet who you really click with, and I imagine that would be really hard. But you're trying to get out and meet people and that is really great. Aside from the trivia, dragon boat and walking, do you have any other hobbies you've wanted to give a go?

Sometimes doing something new can give us the energy to get back out and meet more people. I see that James has already given some great advice so I will keep this brief. I do feel your isolation and being 'isolated' at 28 isnt a good place to be in. You are not making a fuss on the forums. Your post is gold. It takes mega courage to post and thankyou for having the courage to do so. Just my humble opinion but having a different sense of humour makes you special. You must be in a sad place to be crying and self loathing.

From where I sit in Vic you are a special and kind person who has a pro-active attitude. I used to cry a lot too after many years of self loathing I hear you loud and clear. There are many super kind people on the forums like James that can be here for you. Your sense of humour being different is a great personality trait. Do you have a small amount of friends support network that you can bounce off?

Thank you for your comments guys. Together with what ive read on here and the wishes of my family i went to the doctor today and he has referred me to a psychologist. I've been looking and reading this forum the last couple of days and wish I had gotten on here earlier. There is a lot of caring and helpful people on here. It's great that you're going to see a psychologist and that you've opened up here to talk about things. I found I bottled things up for a very long time and didn't seek help which pushed me right to the edge.

I wouldn't be here right now if I hadn't reached out to my friends. If you don't have close friends to talk to about this then speak all you like on this forum. Everyone is going through their own battle but they are all willing to help out and tell us about their experiences which in turn will help us newbies. I suffer from a deep depression so getting on top of this early will be a great benefit.

Remember that any medication usually takes a couple of weeks to start working and you don't always get the right medication the first time so don't get put off and think things aren't working. Use this forum to chat all you like. I find I need to talk to people all the time or I'm constantly breaking down. I need to be around people or my mind doesn't stop and I get bad thoughts in my head.

It's a constant battle. I am so pleased that you've taken the brave step to try and get professional help. It will be really hard at first, so you need to be prepared for that, but this is a really positive and brave move to even acknowledge that you need help. I am amazed how accurately you described how I feel when talking about hobbies.

My psychologist has just tried starting CBT with me and some of the early and apparently easy exercises is to just fill my day with things I maybe would consider doing. But frankly, thinking of things is hard enough let alone doing them. But I got out of bed today after 2 hours! I also forced myself to tell a friend of my "achievement" and they said well done. I may not feel great, but I don't feel worse, and that's a positive if anything is.

Please feel free to come and post when you feel like it. We'd love to hear how your session goes and how you feel about it. I got really nervous the first time! IJG - thank you for posting and offering your help!

It sounds very exhausting for you, so to offer your help is really kind. Thank you. Hi invisible girl, i'm new to the forum as well and it seems the reason I'm here is very similar to yours : i'm in my mid 50's and have struggled with this all my life.

Unlike you, I don't consider myself shy, however I find it really difficult to connect with people. I also often feel alone in a crowd, even with people I may know, as I don't feel I have anything much in common with them. I'm well liked by my work colleagues as far as I know and get along with most people, though intimate relationships seem to elude me.

I nearly always say yes to social invitations, even though they often fill me with dread. I've not long separated from my husband of 15years and i'm feeling truly isolated at the moment as he was my social connection. We were very different socially He could walk into the bar of a hotel he'd never been to before and within an hour, would know everyone's first name, have a couple of jobs lined up he was a self employed carpenter and invite to a bbq and be everyone's new best friend.

I always felt invisible, and really struggled to feel welcomed like he was. Over the years i've joined quite a few different groups but have rarely felt a connection and have no ongoing contact with anyone that i've worked or played with over the years.

Even at my current workplace, I have no social interactions with my work associates outside of work. I'm only just keeping my head above water financially, and that is also giving me grief. I don't have any answers for you, other than don't give up just yet : FWIW, I didn't meet my husband until I was 35, and while I am now separated, am hopeful that I might meet another knight in shining armour in the not too distant future. I'd be very interested in hearing how your psychologist visit goes and if you think it will be of benefit to you and your situation.

In the meantime, winter is half over and there will be less rainy sundays and more sunny ones, and that's always a bonus!! Hi invisible, I connect a lot to what you're saying. I grew up in a very close-knit but also very exclusive religious community, and when I decided to leave at age 18 due to feeling trapped, I lost all the friends and acquaintances I had made there.

Since then, I've stayed close to my sister and managed to hang on to one good friend for a long time, though I rarely get to see him, because of being very busy with work and him living so far away. Haha Anyway I'm working on it. I've been going to meet-ups and meeting various people, and I'm seeing a few prospects here and there for good friendships. Hey, maybe I need to be a bit flexible in what I want out of people. I think you're been doing some good things so far.

You've been putting yourself out there, meeting new people, trying different activities. I think what you're missing may be intimacy. You have plenty of "friends" - i. A few things I would suggest right off the bat, from personal experience, that have helped me: 1. Not just those who have problems. I know of at least one person who checks in with a therapist once every couple of months, just to see if things are going OK in their life.

I try to see mine once a month. You may need to shop around and try a few different therapists until you find one you click with, but when you do, the result can be a wonderful long-term relationship of care and mentoring, which helps you to build a strong emotional foundation from which to navigate friendships, relationships and life events.

I'm new to these forums too. Just been reading a few stories before getting around to posting my own. All I can say is, you are not alone.

I come from a similar background, Airforce family, no childhood friends. I'm 38 now and I feel exactly the same way. First of all you ain't invisible.

I see you. I read your message and I know it was a year ago so I hope you're all good now.. I live in Sydney too, I know it can be a cold place, even though it's the summer land, and I would so happy to hang out and catch up and be an ear to lend.

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Eventually, Kelly became his default therapist, soothing his anxieties as he fretted over work or family problems. For generations, men have been taught to reject traits like gentleness and sensitivity, leaving them without the tools to deal with internalized anger and frustration. Meanwhile, the female savior trope continues to be romanticized on the silver screen thanks Disney! Unlike women, who are encouraged to foster deep platonic intimacy from a young age, American men—with their puffed up chests, fist bumps, and awkward side hugs—grow up believing that they should not only behave like stoic robots in front of other men, but that women are the only people they are allowed to turn to for emotional support—if anyone at all.

Skip to content. I am 21 and have pretty much no friends or no group of people to hang out with on the weekends.

On Tuesday, we talked to a reader who was embarrassed by her boyfriend. And today, we have another "true dating confession" from a reader who's worried that her boyfriend has no friends. Like, zero. Weigh in on her story after the jump He would read books for hours and go for long bike rides by himself.

I have no friends besides my boyfriend is that bad

These forums are a place where you can ask other young people advice on dealing with tough times and share your advice on what has worked for you. Please remember that it does not replace professional advice. Join the online community Login to post. I'd like to welcome you here. If you have a look around you will see that there are others in a similar predicament. It's a horrible thing to be alone and be the sort of person that needs another. I guess there are a couple of things, some people like dating and a social life for it's own sake, and others see it as a means to meeting people that they form bonds with, be it a partner or just good friends. If you are one of the latter then there are of course other methods, as someone in your circumstances I don't think I need to enumerate them, you sound as if you are already doing the right things. Friendship is a two way thing and maybe there are a couple of things you can do to make it more likely to happen. The first is to present a reasonably happy face most of the time.

Men Have No Friends and Women Bear the Burden

Overall, I believe that women are more social creatures than men. We thrive on the hormonal boost we get from being around our buddies, from sharing stories and experiences, and from building bonds. It really is! We require more of the chemicals we get from friendship than men require in order to feel happy.

By ParappaRappa , April 4, in soompi hangout. I'm definitely in this position as of right now.

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. So i'm the type of person who is quite shy when meeting new people and i find this make people loose interest in me quickly. I don't have any friends from childhood because coming from an airforce family i was at a different school every two years. I also seem to think differently from most people, so im not interested in most social fads twitter, instagram etc, , i have a completely different sense of humour from most people and i hate public events and crowds.

Got boyfriend and great family, but no friends

Is this unhealthy? Some forums can only be seen by registered members. Hi all, I just lost my childhood best girlfriend of 10 years who I considered like a sister. She kind of left all of a sudden and has blocked all contact and lives 6 hours away.

Friendship is the gift that keeps on giving, which is why it can feel so utterly demoralizing when it is not forthcoming. If you have no one you can call a true friend, the loneliness can be hard to bear, but there are things you can do to remedy the situation. Whether you feel like you have no friends at all, or just no friends at school, in college, or at work, you should not let yourself believe that you are unlikable. So it might seem strange to ask whether you are actually preventing new friendships from forming. The mind is a complex beast and many of the things we do come from a place far below that of consciousness.

“I Have No Friends” – 10 Things You Can Do If You Feel This Is You


May 19, - Well, let me restate that: I have no friends who keep in touch without me doing all the effort and even then it is spotty. I am 35 years old. A little.


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